


just dudes being dudes

by applejwoos (kenmarcadeblues)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Friendship, Gen, Getting Together, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Texting, i might add more characters IDK, inspired by a gc i'm in - freeform, nana shows up in ch.4 sorry if the summary feels like false advertisement !!, no longer purely a chatfic...what am i doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-04-23 21:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenmarcadeblues/pseuds/applejwoos
Summary: nanana: wait hyungsnanana: what does twink mean exactlyConfident Gay™: screenshot127.jpgnanana: oh wownanana: thats...so me,,





	1. jwoo is the protagonist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confident Gay™: ask him how many turtlenecks he owns
> 
>  
> 
> junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿): what?
> 
>  
> 
> Confident Gay™: Just Do It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this is my first time writing nct and my first attempt at a texting fic  
> i guess this takes place on kaokaotalk or twitter. no deciding details, we post like men
> 
> junguwu - jungwoo  
> Confident Gay - ten  
> TiddY - taeyong  
> dobunny - doyoung  
> ringdingdongsicheng - winwin (sicheng)
> 
> nanana - jaemin (though he isnt appearing yet)

Nation's Cutest Twinks (5) 

 

  

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HEY GAYS

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : G AYS !!!

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Y’ALL HYUNGS GOTTA ANSWER ME DAMMIT

 

**Confident Gay™** : hello i am Here

 

**dobunny** : yea whatchu want

 

**TiddY** : im barely awake why are u capslocking u heathen

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : MY NEIGHBOR TRIED TO KILL ME AT 8AM: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY BY KIM JUNGWOO

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : :0

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : omg are u okay?

 

**Confident Gay™** : wtf explain right now immediately!! 

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : OK SO YKNOW MY NEIGHBOR THAT REMINDED ME OF A YOUNG CHOI MINHO

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I ASKED HIM TO OPEN MY BOYSENBERRY JAM FOR ME SINCE THIS JAR WAS CURSED OR STH AND MY TOAST WAS GETTING COLD

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : AND HE FUCKIN ANSWERS THE DOOR

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : S H I R T L E S S

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : TIDDIES TASTIN THE AIR, TOWEL ON HIS HIPS, DRYING HIS HAIR AS I SPEAK TO HIM!!!

 

**Confident Gay™** : *eyes emoji*

 

**Confident Gay™** : spicy

 

**TiddY** : which drama is this

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : SO LIKE IM TRYING NOT TO DIE BUT THEN HE FLEXES HIS GODDAMN BICEPS AND OPENS THE JAR IN .2 SECONDS. I COMBUST INTERNALLY

 

**dobunny** : disgusting

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : THEN I THANK HIM WITHOUT DROOLING SOMEHOW AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS??????

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : dO YOu? KNOW

 

**TiddY** : no

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : he says-

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : what does he say,,

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : he. he say s

 

**Confident Gay™** : take ur time honey

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HE SAYS

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : “ANYTHING FOR A NICE NEIGHBOR LIKE YOU” AND WINKS

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : W I N K S

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : CAN YOU BELIEVE

 

**dobunny** : FAT OOF

 

**TiddY** : kim “twig twink” jwoo is the protagonist #confirmed

 

**Confident Gay™** : LMAOOOO IKR

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : is he a gay?

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : idk...but if god is real then-

 

**TiddY** : he sounds a lil gay

 

**Confident Gay™** : ask him how many turtlenecks he owns

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : what?

 

**Confident Gay™** : Just Do It

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : but why

 

**Confident Gay™** : they’re gay culture

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : lol i’m literally wearing one rn :^)

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : tneck.jpg

 

**Confident Gay™** : thanks for proving my point sicheng

 

**TiddY** : what the fuck so am i

 

**dobunny** : pics or it didn’t happen

 

**TiddY** : tneck2.jpg

 

**dobunny** : holy shit lmao

 

**dobunny** : psychics are QUAKING

 

**TiddY** : fellas is it gay to accept ten as your god

 

**Confident Gay™** : yes. very

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : me, staring at my closet full of turtlenecks: THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : jk i only have like 5

 

**dobunny** : i have 9, step up ur game hoe !!

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : stfu im poor >:(

 

**dobunny** : says the guy who can afford to move out of the dorms as a sophomore

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : well mAYBE IF YOU SOLD ALL UR GODDAMN YURTLEMCSCNECKS-

 

**dobunny** : i am leaving !

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : i only own two :(

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : its ok sichengie hyung we love you anyway

 

**dobunny** : nO SICHENG IS A DISGRACE TOO

 

**TiddY** : can he shut up

 

**dobunny** : who

 

**TiddY** : YOU

 

**dobunny** : buy my silence for just ₩5 a day

 

**TiddY** : gladly !

 

**dobunny** : ok cash or credit

 

**TiddY** : do u take checks?

 

**dobunny** : Lol taeyong are u actually 50 yrs old?

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : lmao

 

**TiddY** : ok fuck you

 

**TiddY** : transaction cancelled

 

**TiddY** : friendship also cancelled

 

**dobunny** : nooooo wait PLEASE

 

**dobunny** : i rlly need that rent money

 

-

-

- 

-

 

**dobunny** : damn where’d yall go??

 

**Confident Gay™** : its called having a life, hun. I know you can’t relate but pls try to understand :^)

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : !!!!

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : get wrecked

 

**dobunny** : I’M-


	2. my condolences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confident Gay™: did you at least ask him about turtlenecks in the elevator?
> 
> junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿): no ten i did not
> 
> Confident Gay™: Bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so a few things:
> 
> > why are so many people looking at this. like thank you for ur interest and i love it but i'm also intimidated
> 
> > i told my Chat about this and they forced me to send the link, so they read the first chapter & are totally supportive. two of them were like "i identify with ____" and i was like lol yep its literally you
> 
> > time skips: " . " represents a minute or two, roughly; " * " means about an hour; when you see ------ and Nation's Cutest Twinks its a different day

_Nation’s Cutest Twinks (5)_

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : good morning~

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : haha good morning to you too hyung

 

 **dobunny** : its 2:30pm,,

 

 **TiddY** : ….thanks captain obvious

 

 **dobunny** : its not morning

 

 **Confident Gay™** : doyoung how do u not understand humor

 

 **Confident Gay™** : when your life is such a joke

 

 **TiddY** : ten ily

 

 **dobunny** : ASS !

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : i wasn’t joking

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : shit why didnt my alarm go off??

 

 **Confident Gay™** : oH RIP

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : wow i really really want to Die

 

 **dobunny** : HHHHH SEE I KNEW STH WAS UP

 

 **dobunny** : SICHENG NEVER JOKES LIKE THAT

 

.

.

.

 

 **dobunny** : why do i always kill this chat :(((

 

 **dobunny** : yall really hate me that much huh

 

 **Confident Gay™** : yes

 

 **Junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : no ofc not

 

 **TiddY** : so-what-is-the-truth.jpg

  


 

*******

  


 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : hyungs i miss you

 

 **TiddY** : Thats gay

 

 **dobunny** : ^^

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : tell me about your day or whatever

 

 **dobunny** : well i found out i missed another test last week

 

 **dobunny** : so yeah uh i’m midkey?? scared that i’m going to fail two courses

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : oof sorry :(

 

 **TiddY** : Welp

 

 **Tiddy** : Maybe if you actually went to class,,

 

 **dobunny** : YES I KNOW

 

 **dobunny** : IM A DUMBASS

 

 **dobunny** : BUT ISTG WAKING UP BEFORE 9AM MAKES ME FEEL PHYSICALLY ILL 

 

 **dobunny** : like i know its probably psychological but

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : don’t you usually sleep at like 3am?

 

 **dobunny** : yes. if im lucky

 

 **dobunny** : but this has nothing to do with that

 

 **TiddY** : sure jan

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : yongie hyung, how are you?

 

 **TiddY** : fine

 

 **TiddY** : I still want to choke mr. yoon

 

 **TiddY** : I’m still poor

 

 **TiddY** : And I’m pretty sure my crush is straight

 

 **dobunny** : oof

 

 **TiddY** : He’s dating a girl i used to like

 

 **dobunny** : wow...that’s rlly something

 

 **dobunny** : your life sounds kinda like Sad Boy Hours. no offense

 

 **dobunny** : are you okay, though?

 

 **Tiddy** : Yeah dw

 

 **TiddY** : and that’s because my life IS Sad Boy Hours

 

 **TiddY** : but it doesn’t matter cause at least i have you guys

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : AWWWW HYUNG

 

 **TiddY** : you guys are the main light in my life

 

 **TiddY** : gOD that was cheesy but. it tru

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : WO W IM CRY???

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ILY YOURE A GREAT HUMAN BEING OKAY!!

 

 **dobunny** : wow lactose overdose. but

 

 **dobunny** : *10 heart emojis*

 

 **dobunny** : hey anyone down to go to the cafe in 10?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ye

 

 **TiddY** : ^^

 

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

  
_Nation's Cutest Twinks (5)_

 

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : !!!!!!!!

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : GAYS I FUCKED UP

 

 **Confident Gay™** : what happened my child

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : SO YOUNGER HOTTER CHOI MINHO NEIGHBOR

 

 **TiddY** : oml don’t tell me you still don’t know his name

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : umm only choi minho is hotter than choi minho but continue

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : WE TOOK THE ELEVATOR TOGETHER RIGHT

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ALSO YH HE HAS THREE NAMES BC HES COOL LIKE THAT

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : YUKHEI, XUXI, AND LUCAS

 

 **TiddY** : oh??

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ANYWAYS!!! SO WE SORTA TALKED IN THE ELEVATOR OR WHATEVER

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : AND WE WALK OUT INTO THE PARKING LOT AND ME BEING ME I START SLIPPING CAUSE YKNOW ICE N SHIT, WINTER IS A DEATHTRAP

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : NEXT THING I KNOW IM IN HIS ARMS

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HES HOLDING ME!!! LIKE KINDA CLOSE

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : :O

 

 **dobunny** : DO DO DO DOOOO~

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : damn lifes like, shoving lemons into your eyes

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HIS EYES ARE SO BIG AND PRETTY YOU GUYS, I ALMOST PASSED OUT FROM HOW HE WAS LOOKING AT ME OOF,,

 

 **TiddY** : sicheng wtf

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : AWKWARD SILENCE AND MY BRAINS HIGH ON ADRENALINE FROM ESCAPING DEATH AND HIS COLOGNE SO I SAY

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** :  “LOL WHAT ARE WE?”

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : W H Y AM I LIKE THIS

 

 **TiddY** : yikes, my condolences

 

 **dobunny** : haaaaaaaah you would

 

 **dobunny** : but please dont tell me you actually said lol out loud thats a sin

 

 **TiddY** : WAIT what did he say to that??

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : no but i laughed super awkwardly :(

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : i dunno i bolted before he could react

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : and almost fell like 5 times in the process

 

 **TiddY** : Thats a Mood

 

 **Confident Gay™** : hoe my goddd

 

 **Confident Gay™** : did you at least ask him about turtlenecks in the elevator?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : no ten i did not

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Bad

 

 **Confident Gay™** : promise me you’ll do it next time you see him >:(

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : i’m hoping there wont be a next time tbh

 

 **dobunny** : why this dude have 3 different names? Like

 

 **dobunny** : what should i refer to him as?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : idk i mean. ten has two names

 

 **dobunny** : ...i guess

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : xuxi makes me uwu so i’m using that

 

 **TiddY** : can we take a second to appreciate the fact that out of all english names out there

 

 **TiddY** : he chose LUCAS lmao

 

 **TiddY** : or maybe someone else gave it to him but still. LUCAS

 

 **Confident Gay™** : ikr its like one step away from adam

 

 **Confident Gay™** : or matt

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : what r yall talking about?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : is this some kind of code

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : hahahaha

 

 **dobunny** : its because those are fuckboy names hun

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : oH SJKDSJDHJK

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : OK BUT HES TOTALLY NOT ONE

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HE ACTUALLY SEEMS SWEET WHICH I HATE HIM FOR

 

 **dobunny** : i’m gonna call him lucas

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : nO

 

 **dobunny** : lucas answers the door fresh out of the shower just to show off his body and winks at guys he barely knows and disguises wanting to put his hands on you as steadying you ;^)

 

 **Confident Gay™** : SJSJSJDDHHAH

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : i can’t read suddenly...i don’t know

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : jwoos it could be worse

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : he could be JAKE

 

 **dobunny** : thanks for the suggestion sicheng

 

 **dobunny** : why dont you pitch it to him next time. maybe he’ll like it

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : bye


	3. soft or hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dobunny: soft souls dont want to lick ppls eyebrows
> 
>  
> 
> TiddY: dont tell me how to live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs mentioned/referenced:  
> [gentleman](https://soundcloud.com/gallant/gentleman-1) by gallant
> 
> [this is gospel](https://youtu.be/crwE3Tw_k0Q) by panic! at the disco

Nation's Cutest Twinks (5) 

 

 **TiddY** : Hey so

 

 **TiddY** : is it bad that i kind of want to lick lin yanjun’s eyebrows-

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : um

 

 **Confident Gay™** : ...in my house?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : in front of M Y salad????

 

 **dobunny** : this.

 

 **dobunny** : this is what i get to wake up to

 

 **dobunny** : not a cute good morning text from a significant other

 

 **dobunny** : but this.

 

 **dobunny** : i hate being single

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : its 3 in the afternoon

 

 **dobunny** : what so us hoes that sleep for 12hrs dont deserve happiness now?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : uh no i was just

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : nvm

 

 **dobunny** : oh wait...you’re looking out for me right sicheng??

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : ye

 

 **dobunny** : awww you actually care :,)

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : well duh

 

 **dobunny** : but you love to hate me

 

 **ringdingdonsicheng** : lbr we all do

 

 **ringdingdonsicheng** : anyways in my case I hate BECAUSE i care. that’s kinda my thing with u

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ooooo do I smell romance?¿

 

 **TiddY** : Cool!! So nobody answered my question

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : no hyung it’s not bad,, like i relate on the lowest of keys. but

 

 **Confident Gay™** : ur a nasty hoe whos going to H ELL !

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : LMAO NOT WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY BUT-

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : our god has spoken srry ty

 

 **dobunny** : thems the facts

 

 **TiddY** : *huffing emoji*

 

 **TiddY** : I cannot Believe

 

 **TiddY** : ok first of all, callout post for jwoo: say what u mean u coward!!!

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : *shrugging emoji*

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : tbh nothing left to say when ten has already spoken 

 

 **TiddY** : u lil shit

 

 **TiddY** : lol the fact that yall heathens nut to gentleman on the daily

 

 **TiddY** : i’ll meet you kids in hell, so!!!!!!!!

 

 **TiddY** : dont look down on ME

 

 **dobunny** : what a coincidence it just came on shuffle

 

 **dobunny** : nowplaying.jpg

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : TELL ME HAVE YOU EVER HAD A GENTLEMAN

 

 **Confident Gay™** : IF NOT THEN GIRL YOUUU DESERVE A GENTLEMAN

 

 **TiddY** : stop

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : damn I forgot the next part...I had one job in this life,,

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : EAT YOU OUT FOR DINNER LIKE A GENTLEMAN

 

 **Confident Gay™** : KNOCK BEFORE I ENTER LIKE A GENTLEMAN

 

 **TiddY** : I AM A SOFT SOUL STOP ASSAULTING MY EYES PLS

 

 **dobunny** : soft souls dont want to lick ppls eyebrows

 

 **TiddY** : dont tell me how to live

 

 **ringdingsongsicheng** : gallant is a Nasty Man

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : luv Him

 

 **TiddY** : jwoos’ soft ass listens to gentleman religiously

 

 **TiddY** : Nobody is all soft or hard. Thats the truth folks

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : good music is good music also gallant is so...gallant

 

 **ringdingsongsicheng** : RT

 

 **dobunny** : aight you got a point or whatever

 

 **dobunny** : but you...u somethin else

 

 **dobunny** : you wanna lick h a i r

 

 **dobunny** : wHY?

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

 **Confident Gay™** : WAIT

 

 **Confident Gay™** : I’VE HAD A REVELATION

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : OOOO TELL US RN IMMEDIATELY

 

 **Confident Gay™** : ok, so

 

 **Confident Gay™** : tae is a furry

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : W HAT

 

 **ringdingsongsicheng** : AHAHSSJSJD

 

 **TiddY** : eXCUSE ME WHERE DID U EVEN GET THAT FROM

 

 **TiddY** : THATS LITERALLY THE MOST UNGROUNDED CLAIM. TRY HARDER MESSY BITCH

 

 **Confident Gay™** : oh? ;^) But i just Connected The Dots

 

 **Confident Gay™** : you want to lick lin yanjuns eyebrows. What do his eyebrows resemble? Caterpillars. caterpillars r animals 

 

 **Confident Gay™** : BOOM BITCH

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : #EXPOSEDT

 

 **dobunny** : IM CONVSDINFS

 

 **dobunny** : *CONVULSINGGG

 

 **TiddY** : tf kind of Walmart brand Sherlock Holmes shit is this

 

 **TiddY** : nah not even that! it’s Dollar Store Deduction

 

TiddY: like we know ur poor but

 

 **TiddY** : well idk I guess doyoung plays it off better

 

 **dobunny** : fckn keepmy name out ur mouth, furry

 

 **Confident Gay™** : yeah furry stfu

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : LMAOOO

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I’m not letting you near my doggo hyung

 

 **TiddY** : I hate this family

 

 **TiddY** has left the conversation

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** has added **TiddY** to the conversation

 

 **TiddY** : If you love me, let me go :(((

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : nO

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : but i still love you, promise

 

 **dobunny** : by panic! at the disco

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : the song’s called this is gospel

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : smh fAKe FaN

 

 **dobunny** : ...welp you got me there

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

 **Confident Gay™** : fake fan starts with an f...so does furry

 

 **Confident Gay™** : You see where I’m going with this right y’all ?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : unfortunately yes

 

 **Confident Gay™** : doyoung is Also a Furry

 

 **dobunny** : jfc ten

 

 **dobunny** : what are you on today

 

 **TiddY** : idk but I kinda want some

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : yeah no I think you’ve had enough already, furry #1

 

 **TiddY**  has left the conversation

 

 **dobunny**  has left the conversation

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)**  has added **TiddY** and **dobunny** to the conversation

 

 **Confident Gay™** : omg they left in sequence!! what are the odds honestly

 

 **junguwu** : it's a conspiracy...they been in cahoots all this time...

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : so like we’re just gonna ignore doyoung’s facial features and subsequent username??

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : GOD THE EVIDENCE IS JUST PILING TF UP

 

 **Confident Gay™** : sEE ?? ITS LOGIC PPL

 

 **Confident Gay™** : OPEN YOUR EYES

 

 **dobunny** has left the conversation

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** has added **dobunny** to the conversation

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : not. on. my. watch!

 

 **dobunny** : im TIRED >:(

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : didn’t you just wake up?

 

 **dobunny** : fuck off

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > the fact that some of y'all are already laughing, choking, crying, etc. while reading really butters my toast :,) huge UWU for that!!!!
> 
> > my irl chat lost a member over stupid shit and that made me sad but writing this sorta helps
> 
> > who’s your fav character so far?? (nana should be coming next ch!)


	4. welcome to the madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nanana: arent you furry #1? and doyoungs furry #2?
> 
>  
> 
> TiddY: Kim Jungwoo (Boutta Be) Found Dead In Miami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what even is this.....................
> 
> i made good on my promise, JAEMIN HAS APPEARED THIS IS NOT A DRILL  
> after this chapter it'll be nct (6) :,)
> 
> getchu a hyung like taeyong who would take u all the way to miami just to kill you 
> 
> song mentions:  
> [no f.u.n](https://youtu.be/X3kfCfYPjjw) by seventeen  
> [my my my!](https://youtu.be/k5TqNsr6YuQ)by troye sivan

Nation's Cutest Twinks (5) 

 

 

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : IM SO GAY AND MAYBE HE IS TOO: NEWS STORY DEVELOPING RIGHT MCFUCKING NOW

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : [is mcfucking tuned in]

 

**dobunny** : i love this channel !

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : GUESS WHAT XUXI WAS WEARING WHEN I ASKED HIM TO OPEN MY JAR

 

**TiddY** : oPEn YoUR JaR ?

 

**TiddY** : *smirk emoji*

  

**dobunny** : omf yong for once in your life like, don’t be gross

 

**dobunny** : ((but i admit it sounds a lil suggestive))

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : u nasty hoes just-

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : when i say guess i mean it, damn it

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : uh

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : nothing, mayhaps??

 

**dobunny** : ^^yeah wouldnt b surprised

 

**dobunny** : seems like sth L U C A S would do

 

**TiddY** : only whipped cream

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : what the fucc. N o and more no

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : shut ur hell furry #2, you don’t even know him >:(

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : so what was he wearing

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : s i g h !

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : hyungs you didn’t even try

  

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ur so no fun ;(

 

**dobunny** : BY SEVENTEEN

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : NO F.U.N ~

 

**dobunny** : lmao yessss sicheng our brains are syncing up

 

**dobunny** : we’re destiny

 

**ringdingdingsicheng** : uhhhhh destiny machine Broke !

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : so y’all really gonna just-

 

**TiddY** : Aww bby, we tried our best

 

**dobunny** : watch it, lying is a sin and ur already swimming in enough

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : if thats your best how did you even enter uni?? smh

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : was he wearing glasses, mayhaps?

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : no but OMG JUST IMAGINING IT MADE MY UWU POP OUT AAAAAAAAA

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : thnx sicheng. for trying,,

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : no prob but don’t expect it to happen again soon

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : k fat reminder that everyone is Lame except soft hyung

 

**dobunny** : aww thankies ily too

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : um

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : soft hyung is sichengie...did i not say this before??

 

**dobunny** : oh. idk, i don’t remember

 

**dobunny** : sadgoofy.jpg

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : wow am I sobbing or did some of jwoos’ uwu get in my eye?¿

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : hey wait where’s ten? he needs to be here when this News breaks

 

**TiddY** : Hmm

 

**TiddY** : OH MY MY MY!

           I DIE EVERY NIGHT WITH YOU

 

-

 

**Confident Gay™** : OH MY MY MY!

                           LIVING FOR YOUR EVERY MOVE

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : wow couple goals

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : alrighty so get this

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HE WEAR ……………….

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ………………..A SWEATER HUGGIN HE NECK!!!!

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : *gasp* nO WAY

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Y ES WAY

 

**Confident Gay™** : A YURTLEMCSCNECK?

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : A YURTLEMCSCNECK!

 

**TiddY** : *eyes emoji*

 

**dobunny** : interesting,,

 

**Confident** **Gay™** : I’m assuming we’re talking abt ur mans whos not urs mans but will soon be ur mans

 

**junguwu** **(◕ ω ◕✿)** : HSHSJJJDDJ YES

 

**junguwu** (◕ ω ◕✿): I MEAN IF THERES A GOD-

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : ...he might just be one of us

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : i mean not like US us bc boy’s clearly not a twink. but

 

**Confident Gay™** : did u talk to him about it?

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : about what

 

**Confident Gay™** : The Culture aka yertlemcscnecks aka tnecks commonly known as turtlenecks

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : no but i did tell him i liked his

 

**Confident Gay™** : better than nothing I suppose

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : he’s so handsome all the time IM S T R E S S E D

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : real surprised i didn’t do anything stupid this time

 

**dobunny** : flirting by asking him to open jars is stupid in itself, so

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : *spencer shay voice* touché

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : so lets say that that statistic claiming 1 in 10 ppl are gay is true

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : that means that theres 10% chance yukhei’s a gay

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : but for men wearing turtlenecks its like around 55%

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : in conclusion: the probability is 65% which is more than half which is Good and jwoos should Be Proactive

 

**TiddY** : mmmm kay

 

**dobunny** : pretty sure thats not how u handle percentages n probabilities but idk the right way bc math can kiss my ass

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : what ass

 

**dobunny** : mine, I said

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : i'm not illiterate i was throwing shade, dumbass who don’t have an ass

 

**dobunny** : sicheng communication is the key to every relationship

 

**dobunny** : so if you wanna fight me

 

**dobunny** : JUST.

 

**dobunny** : SAY.

 

**dobunny** : SO!!!!!

 

**Confident** **Gay™** : Gays can’t do math

 

**junguwu** **(◕ ω ◕✿)** : *whispers* alan turing

 

**Confident Gay™** : ...ok Noted

 

 

 

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (5) 

 

 

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : guys would it be cool if I add someone new 

 

**Confident Gay™** : perhaps.jpg

 

**TiddY** : ya know this is a Gays Only event, right jwoos?

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : lol i’m fully aware

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** :  but the thing is, he’s not officially queer

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : like, i think he’s questioning rn

 

**TiddY** : ah okay

 

**Confident Gay™** : how do u know him?

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : we went to the same high school and then i graduated

 

**TiddY** : wait as in hes still going there or??

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : yes

 

**dobunny** : hes the one thing worse than a rapist,,

 

**dobunny** : [rips off paper] a CHILD

 

**Confident Gay™** : LMAO

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : *5 laughing emojis*

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : *5 crying emojis*

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : I MISS VINE

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HAHAJHAJHDS

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : BUT SAME SICHENG :((

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ok but he’s 18 though, he’s gonna graduate v soon

 

**Confident Gay™** : Anyone born after 1999 is a Baby i don’t make the rules

 

  **TiddY** : RT!!!

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : yk he’s almost a legal adult right

 

**Confident** **Gay™** : BA

 

**Confident** **Gay™** : BY

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : is he cool?

 

**junguwu** **(◕ ω ◕✿)** : yeah. he’s a peculiar boy but he’s sweet and has a good sense of humor, plus he likes svt :^)

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : so??? is it okay

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : idk ten has to answer that

 

**Confident Gay™** : What

 

**Confident Gay™** : why me?

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : you’re our unofficial leader

 

**TiddY** : And god

 

**Confident Gay™** : Why must y’all burden me like this

 

**Confident Gay™** : wahtevaaa

 

**Confident Gay™** : go for it Jungwoo

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : yeeeeeeee

 

  **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : alright so,

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : don’t be too crazy for now

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : just be chill, okay?

 

**Confident** **Gay™** : @ tae

 

**TiddY** : oh please it’s @ dodo

 

**dobunny** : i’m sick of the slander !

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** has added **nanana** to the conversation

 

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : guys this is jaemin!!

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : jaemin say hi

 

**nanana** : hiiiii hyungs

 

**TiddY** : hi jaemin, welcome to the madness! im taeyong

 

**dobunny** : hey!! :) i’m doyoung

 

**Ringdingdongsicheng** : hi, im sicheng

 

**Confident Gay™** : and best for last:

 

**TiddY** : SNORF

 

**Confident Gay™** : I’m Ten, nice to meet you!

 

**nanana** : oh like...the number

 

**nanana** : thats fun

 

**Confident Gay™** : haha my parents aren’t crazy, I have another name but

 

**Confident Gay™** : in my culture we usually use second names

 

**nanana** : o interesting! so where r u from

 

**Confident Gay™** : Thailand~

 

**nanana** : ahh noice

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : i’m from china

 

**nanana** : thats cool too

 

**junguwu** : lol?? 

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : lol srry i know u didnt ask but,,

 

**TiddY** : what sichengie means to say is:

 

**TiddY** : “jaemin im thirsty for ur attention”

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : perhaps.jpg

 

**Confident Gay™** : Wow never seen This pic before Ever, In My Life

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : ...anyways

 

**nanana** : awwwh sichenggggg

 

**nanana** : no wonder jungwoo calls u soft hyung :,)

 

**nanana** : bc soft hours r officially open rn! just for you!!!

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : wow i

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : i think im dying

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : from uwu poisoning

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : jungwoo make it stop

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ily too soft hyung

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : [heart monitor flatlining]

 

**TiddY** : wait jaemin how much does jwoos say abt us?

 

**nanana** : not much tbh, just basic stuff. for example

 

**nanana** : arent you furry #1? and doyoungs furry #2?

 

**TiddY** :  Kim Jungwoo (Boutta Be) Found Dead In Miami

 

**dobunny** : wOW. WOW!!!

 

**dobunny** : i hope jwoo slips on ice and falls right on his Big Mouth and then again on his ass

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : oh don't worry, you don't have to hope.........its only a matter of time :(

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : me being me and winter being a deathtrap 

 

**dobunny** : ok but jaeminnie u know thats just an inside joke right

 

**dobunny** : like we’re not actually furries lol

 

**nanana** : then whys ur user doBUNNY. Explain.

 

**Confident Gay™** : already askin the real questions, THATS! MY! BOY!

 

**nanana** : thnx dad

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HEY I ADOPTED U FIRST EXCUSE ME-

 

**dobunny** : s igh ok lemme just show u my face, youll get it

 

**dobunny** : bunnyselfie.jpg

 

**nanana** : o

 

**nanana** : dang u cute fam

 

**nanana** : so you’re rlly not a furry. you're just a lovechild of...

 

**nanana:** a rabbit and pennywise the clown

 

**dobunny** : i. um

 

 

 

**dobunny** has left the conversation

 

 

 

**nanana** : omg wait i wasnt serious ! 

 

**TiddY** : yes you were

 

**nanana** : NO IM SORRY IM A GOOD DONGSAENG I PRMOISE

  

**Confident Gay™** : Its ok hun never apologize for speaking truthfully

 

 

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** has added **dobunny** to the conversation

 

 

 

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : how r u d e >:( we have a GUEST

 

**dobunny** : pfffftttt

 

**Confident Gay™** : And you can’t keep running from the Truth. Its not healthy :\

 

**nanana** : jungwoo i’m not a guest :(

 

**nanana** : i wanna stay. i wanna be a resident

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : oH OOP i didnt mean it like that but

 \

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ooof i’m glad :,)

 

**nanana** : i mean as long as doyoung doesnt hate me

 

**dobunny** : lmao no!! I dont hate u i just-

 

**Confident Gay™** : am running from the truth :^)

 

**dobunny** : hhhhhh

 

**dobunny** : perhaps.jpg

  

**dobunny** : FUCK WAIT WRNG PIC

 

**TiddY** : omf are you confessing?? i been knew u werent human

 

**Confident Gay™** : Its screenshot time ladies

 

**dobunny** : NO FFS

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : not to alarm you but clowns are humans

 

**nanana** : hyung if you actually watched IT you'd know pennywise isnt just a clown...

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : oof, got me there

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : wait omg did sicheng actually die

 

**ringdingdongsicheng** : yes, 

 

**nanana** : :O

 

**TiddY** : ur a murderer

 

**Confident Gay™** : the cops are ON THEIR WAY

 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : if anyone asks where i am i've fled the country


	5. the good shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿): ARE U STILL SAD
> 
> nanana: SADNESS? IDK HER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys thanks so much for 300 kudos~
> 
> here's something small before i go back to studying for finals. it might be a while before the next update honestly...  
> i swear someday in the near future there will be luwoo and yuwin development. someday. yes. 
> 
> ALSO the 2nd time the groupchat comes back its in the middle of a convo so yeah dont get confused. i guess sicheng sent that Thing of that dude sliding down the escalator thing or sth.
> 
> AND click jwoo's link. idc if you've already watched that video and dont wanna see it again. watch it again. for me. for the culture.

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (6) 

  


 

 **nanana** : hey hyungs

 

 **nanana** : currently in need of a laugh, any link helps, thx

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : is baby okay?

 

 **TiddY** : ^^

 

 **nanana** : mhm i’m fine! just

 

 **nanana** : woke up sad today, idk.

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : wHAT

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : NO IM SUING!!!

 

 **TiddY** : whom? the universe?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : CORRECT

 

 **nanana** : dad…….pls

 

 **dobunny** : aww its okay jaemin

 

 **dobunny** : happens to the best of us

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : WE NEED THE BURGER VIDEO

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : THIS IS A NATIONAL EMERGENCY

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : what

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : burg vid?????

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** :  jeez whatd i miss

 

 **dobunny** : jaemin is a bit sad

 

 **TiddY** : jwoos is suing the universe

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : ah

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : listen,, nana is like THE happiest lil bean

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : if he’s sad then nothings right. N o t h i n g

 

 **nanana** : .

 

 **nanana** : *eyeroll*

 

 **nanana** : sooooo what is this burger video u speak of

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : it is My Life

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : the reason i wake up everyday

 

 **TiddY** : Its so fucking funny i

 

 **TiddY** : i feel giddy just thinking about it

 

 **dobunny** : idk it just doesnt do it for me

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : exhibit A of why i cant trust u. ever

 

 **TiddY** : rt

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : NANA UR GON LOVE IT

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : SOMEONE PLS SEND IT

 

 **dobunny** : um

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : um (2)

 

 **TiddY** : ten’s the one who has it, he has all the good shit

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : mmkay then

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ONLY FOOLS FALL FOR YOU

                                ONLY FOOLS FALL

 

 **dobunny** : the hell

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : just casually tryin to summon our lord n gayvior

 

 **TiddY** : ain’t gonna work cupcake, he sleep

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : OOF :(((((

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : are u guys at his or yours?

 

 **TiddY** : mine

 

 **TiddY** : …..….why?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : wake him up

 

 **TiddY** : what? No!

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : pretty please?? its ur house therefore you have the authority

 

 **TiddY** : nO u brat just look it up >:^(

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : but I dunno howwwww

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : go to yt and type “burger video” in the search bar mayhaps?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : it’s not even called that tho

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : i’ll get a page full of mukbang, cooking how-tos, food porn, asmr, and buzzfeed worth it

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : oh. noted

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : hhhh YONGIE-HYUNG PL EASE

 

 **TiddY** : no

  
  


 

junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿), TiddY (2) 

 

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : hyung

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : hyung

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : hyungie

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : my favorite elder

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : the best man alive

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : visual GOD

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I CAN SEE YOU JUST READ THESE

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : CMON

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : PWEASE??

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : just DO IT

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : FOR A CHILD IN NEED

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ((jaemin btw not me))

 

 **TiddY** : gonna mute you n nap with ten

 

 **TiddY** : byesies xoxo

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : W OW :,((((

 

 

-

-

-

-

-

-

 

 

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (6) 

  
  


**nanana** : ASDHKKKGG I CANT BREADF

 

 **nanana** : *BREATHE

 

 **nanana** : IS HE OKAY

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : nobody knows

 

 **dobunny** : lmao...probably not...

 

 **nanana** : omg ty for showing me this :,))

 

 **nanana** : but why I feel like imma go to hell for laughing

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : honestly same

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : at least we’ll be together tho?? since we all laughed

 

 **nanana** : ah tru

 

 **nanana** : friendship is magic, as they say

 

 **dobunny** : is that a mlp reference??

 

 **nanana** : tf is mlp

 

 **dobunny** : my little pony

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : what the fuck you actual furry

 

 **nanana** : WAIT R U ACTUALLY A FURRY-

 

 **dobunny** : nO DAMN IT

 

 **dobunny** : /fucking/

 

 **dobunny** : yall r so good at reaching, whos teaching you? kudos to them

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : hi hello!!!!!! I found it!!!!!!!

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : the fruit of 84 yrs of hard labor, my blood sweat and tears:

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : T H E B U R G E R V I D E O

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : <https://youtu.be/snDralPqo8w>

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : *satisfied emoji*

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ur welc

 

-

-

-

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : OH MY CARDIAC ARREST!!!

 

 **dobunny** : YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT A PANINI ISSSS?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HES ORDERING FROM THE E T H E R

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : *HURRICANE KATRINA*

 

 **nanana** : OMFG

 

 **nanana** : IM SCREEEEE

 

 **nanana** : I HAVE LITERAL TEARS ON MY FACE I CANNOT!!!!!!!CALM DOWN

 

 **nanana** : PPL ARE STARING, H E L P

 

 **nanana** : SHOWED MY DESK PARTNER N HE STARTED HITTING THINGS

 

 **nanana** : UPDATE: HE COLLAPSED ONTO THE DESK SUPER LOUD LITERALLY EVERYONES STARING FU CK

 

 **nanana** : WHAT IF HE CONCUSSED HIMSELF AHFSSSDFH RIP

 

 **nanana** : UPDATE 2: WE GOT KICKED OUT OF CHEM CLASS

 

 **dobunny** : LMAOOO

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ARE U STILL SAD

 

 **nanana** : SADNESS? IDK HER

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : :D

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : the world is back in balance

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : sorry you got kicked out tho :\

 

 **nanana** : lololol dw it’s fine

 

 **nanana** : a minor side effect

 

 **nanana** : i like fresh air anyways

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : that’s my positive boy uwu


	6. am I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello welcome to a super short but special chapter: part 1 of cameos. today i've brought you the 99 liner duo that i believe we all need 
> 
> finals finished as well as they could have (lets bear in mind doyoung is partly a self-insert) and now i'm free to mess around with fics without feeling guilty about it :D 
> 
> 666hei - lucas (yukhei) *one of the ways to say the number 6 in korean is yuk. get it?? i like to think i'm clever sometimes*
> 
> berryeri - yeri (kim yerim from red velvet)

berryeri, 666hei (2) 

 

 

 **berryeri** : do you like dudes?

 

 **666hei** : Well good afternoon to u too. Damn

 

 **berryeri** : yeah yeah hey its been a while hope ur fine

 

 **666hei** : A while?? its deadass been 2months since our last text convo

 

 **berryeri** : technicalities. Anyways are u a gay in any way, shape, or form, my bro?

 

 **666hei** : uh

 

 **666hei** : I dunno, am I?

 

 **berryeri** : ....alrighty then

 

 **666hei** : Whyd u ask tho?

 

 **berryeri** : *eye emoji*

 

 **berryeri** : i see you rocking turtlenecks...often

 

 **666hei** : And?? Am i missing smth?

 

 **666hei** : Are you goin all fashion police again

 

 **berryeri** : nope it’s just

 

 **berryeri** : an observation

 

 **666hei** : Why the fuck you lyin’

 

 **666hei** : Mmm oh my god-

 

 **666hei** : Well its winter, i got 4 of em, n i look hella good with fabric around my neck so continue to “”observe”” i guess

 

 **berryeri** : i will

 

 **berryeri** : you know what they say ‘bout turtlenecks

 

 **666hei** : actually I don’t. enlighten me

 

 **berryeri** : a pity. No

 

 **berryeri** : have a good day yukhei

 

 **berryeri** : and if by chance the gay thoughts start chasing you, don’t run

 

 **666hei** : Wtf the fUCK

 

 **666hei** : IS THAT A THREAT

 

 **berryeri** : no, its called advice, you may have heard of it before

 

 **berryeri** : it is what one takes when they want to Do Better but ofc you’ve never heard of that

 

 **666hei** : The-

 

 **666hei** : My lady ya better stop being shady

 

 **666hei** : And answer my mcfucking questions

 

 **berryeri** : such as??

 

 **666hei** : Why u suspect I’m part of the homosexual agenda

 

 **berryeri** : i don’t suspect anything. Next

 

 **666hei** : What

 

 **666hei** : But??????????????

 

 **666hei** : Kim Yerim you got me hella confused rn

 

 **berryeri** : just. keep wearing turtlenecks. they suit you

 

 **666hei** : One of these days istg I’m finna drop ur cryptic ass

 

 **berryeri** : mmkay bet 


	7. I am

berryeri, 666hei (2)

 

 **666hei** : Hey so i think it’s right that u should be 1st to know...

 

 **666hei** : After further investigation I've concluded that

  
  
**666hei** : I am

 

 **berryeri** : I am NOT

 

 **666hei** : ???uhm

 

 **666hei** : You're not gay?

 

 **berryeri** : No the ski debut album, good shit

 

 **666hei** : ski?

 

  
**berryeri** : stray kids. JESUS do I have to spell everything out for u

 

 **666hei** : oh

 

 **666hei** : Hellevator was cool but HUSH YA STAN ASS LEMME SPEAK

 

 **666hei** : I am into dudes and there's this One Dude,,

  
  
**berryeri** : Oh?

  
  
**666hei** : elevatorselfie.jpg

 

 **berryeri** : this pic possesses so much gay energy oh my god???

  
  
**666hei** : *sunglasses emoji*

 

 **666hei** : You Know We Had To Do It To Em

  
  
**berryeri** : yukhei…….please

 

 **666hei** : Anyway he cute right?

 

 **berryeri** : understatement of the year tbh! hes so pretty. are you 100% sure he’s real? what’s his name?

  
  
**666hei** : His name is Kim Jungwoo <3

 

 **berryeri** : aww. God I’m rlly happy for u bud~

 

 **666hei** : Wait um, we’re not a thing (yet)

 

 **berryeri** : what? seriously? so the clothes coordination was an act of friendship?

 

 **666hei** : Wrong again. No coordination involved, only fate

 

 **666hei** : Omg what if we’re meant to be together or sth

 

 **berryeri** : well Listen Here, fated or not i suggest you go for it bc if u don’t, I WILL !

 

 **666hei** : 1) Back off hoe

 

 **666hei** : 2) Why tf are u threatening me again istg

 

 **666hei** : 3) I wanna ask him out but I’m lowkey panicked & highkey dumb

 

 **berryeri** : 1) fine

 

 **berryeri** : 2) am not! you just mistake my Encouragement

 

 **berryeri** : 3) we been knew but when has this ever stopped Wong Yukhei

 

 **666hei** : Thanks yeri ily

 

 **berryeri** : gross


	8. sit on his lap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nanana: y’all can’t even comprehend the eyesmile on this kid...I wanna flatline in the middle of class tbfh
> 
> junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿): BIG FAT UWU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yknow the summary of this work that lured you in? I finally incorporated it, hopefully it satisfies y’all~ 
> 
> thank you dear readers for almost 500 kudos. I can’t really fathom it but it’s awesome! My childish ass was happy just to have reached 420 but the numbers continue to grow and idk what to do but you’ve made me smile so much & my only hope is that you maybe love reading this almost as much as I love writing it :)
> 
> ☆ ALSO a friendly reminder that " * " means about an hour has passed while " . " means ~2 min!!! ☆

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (6)

 

  
**nanana** : wait hyungs

 

 **nanana** : what does twink mean exactly?

 

 **Confident Gay™** : screenshot127.jpg

 

 **nanana** : oh wow

 

 **nanana** : thats...so me,,

 

 **TiddY** : wait...even the gay part??

 

 **nanana** : yea lol I’m deffo not a Straight

 

 **nanana** : like I was iffy abt it but as of late..wondering how ur lips would feel on a male friend’s is so not hetero, so

 

 **nanana** : what i thought was a friend-crush is just a normal crush!! goddamn it

 

 **TiddY** : jwoo was right abt you :,)

 

 **Confident Gay™** : we got a Baby Gay in the building #confirmed

 

 **nanana** : excuse me what tf did Jungwoo tell y’all about me??

 

 **TiddY** : just that it seemed like u were questioning but also probs gonna fit in this here gc just fine

 

 **nanana** : oh oof, hyung does know me well

 

 **dobunny** : hey what in the Hell’s a “”friend-crush””

 

 **nanana** : yknow. like when u just really wanna become friends w someone bc they’re cool

 

 **dobunny** : ah ok. can’t relate though I hate ppl

 

 **nanana** : lmao? then why u in a gc with 5 of them?

 

 **TiddY** : what does ur evil ass prefer? clowns?

 

 **dobunny** : go no further

 

 **Confident Gay™** : answer the questions, Dodo

 

 **dobunny** : I plead the Fifth

 

 **nanana** : is that-

 

 **Confident Gay™** : nice try this is South Korea

 

 **dobunny** : I’m Moving !

 

 **TiddY** : :D

 

 **Confident Gay™** : do it you won’t

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : elevatorselfie.jpg

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Perhaps We Snapped!!!

 

 **nanana** : omg is that who I think it is? I’m livinggg

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : WHO IS THAT

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : IS THAT REALLY YUKHEI

 

 **Confident Gay™** : ah so this is...Lucas

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : yes gays this handsome, stunning, amazing human being is indeed my Xuxi :^)

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : HE GON FUCK AROUND N GET STREETCASTED BY SM ENT

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : AJDHFJGNGJ HONESTLY

 

 **Confident Gay™** : soooo do you think he’s interested in you? 

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Um maybe, idk. can’t tell if he gets flustered bc I get too homo for him or bc he likes me...we exchanged numbers though so I’m gonna solve the mystery soon

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : getting his number would be significant if he wasn’t ur neighbor but like can’t you just walk 5 steps n knock on his door n sit on his lap

 

 **Confident Gay™** : anything, I mean a n y t h i n g, would b better than making him open ur fuckin jam jars. boy probably wonders if god forgot to give u muscles

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Look bitch if you peeped those biceps you’d understand how much I’m goin thru it

 

 **ringdingdongicheng** : speaking of going thru stuff, how much jam do you go thru in a month

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Thats between me and my wallet, tyvm

 

 **nanana** : maybe I should try that

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : eating copious amounts of jam?

 

 **nanana** : nah I mean sitting on a cute boy’s lap

 

 **nanana** : like it’s not weird if we’re friends, right? bros can do that & it doesn’t mean anything

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : MY BABY HAS A CRUSH ON A BOY???!!

 

 **nanana** : yES

 

 **nanana** : the dumbass sits next to me in chem and I feel things when he smiles

 

 **nanana** : y’all can’t even comprehend the eyesmile on this kid...I wanna flatline in the middle of class tbfh

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : BIG FAT UWU

 

 **nanana** : Also wanna have his teeth on my neck behind the bleachers

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : What a Mood

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : NANA !

 

 **nanana** : What? I’m almost an adult, ok

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I Know and do not remind me again, ever

 

 

*

 

 

 **TiddY** : whoa hello power couple??

 

 **TiddY** : Lucas can totally get it

 

 **junguwu** : ikr 

 

 

junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿), dobunny (2)

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Dodo hyung are u there?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Dodododoooo~

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : elevatorselfie.jpg

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : LOOK AT THE SELFIE ME N MY MANS TOOK

 

 

 

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (6)

 

  
**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : CALLOUT POST @DOYOUNG: OPEN YA GOSH DARN MSGS HOE!

 

 **TiddY** : jwoos why must you yell so much in here when ur so soft spoken irl

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : BECAUSE BEING A PERSON IRL IS DAUNTING AF OKAY

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : shh he Sleep

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HHHHH I really want him to see what Xuxi looks like tho :(

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : no I mean he’s actually physically asleep, I’m in his room rn

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : :O

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : smh...doyoung could rlly learn a thing or two abt studying from yong. @hyung pls discipline him

 

 **TiddY** : …...using which methods exactly?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : I-

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I can’t read suddenly I don’t know

 

 **Confident Gay™** : sis can you stop Sinning for One (1) Minute

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : oooohkay anyways so he invited me over to help him catch up right?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : but he was only awake long enough to let me in, basically

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : doyoung-snoring-with-his-laptop-open-on-his-bed.mp4

 

 **Confident Gay™** : owo whats this?

 

 **Confident Gay™** : ((That was purely Ironic don’t come at me thnx))

 

 **TiddY** : is that a jet engine goddamn

 

 **TiddY** : Rip headphone users

 

 **Confident Gay™** : my mcfucking ears jesus christ

 

 **Confident Gay™** : i swear if that idiot was up til 7am rewatching idol pd or whatever fuckshit he does instead of sleeping like the rest of us imma beat his nonexistent ass-

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : [doyoung’s nostrils] *hurricane katrina*

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : wait sichengie are you...still over there?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : yes and i feel so awk, idk what to do atm

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : well why don’t you just wake him up? Its for the best ;)

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : u know im bad at confrontation

 

 **Confident Gay™** : then just leave

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : but when he wakes up hes gonna be all confuseddd

 

 **Confident Gay™** : his fault not urs

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HEY >:^( you’re supposed to be on my side

 

 **Confident Gay™** : since when were there sides

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : I Departed

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : k

 

 

 

dobunny, ringdingdongsicheng (2)

  
**dobunny** : hey uh I’m awake now...and you left?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : mhm. you fell asleep and just. yep

 

 **dobunny** : oh. shit my bad, sorry for wasting your time

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : its fine. theyre ur grades pal,,

 

 **dobunny**. true. so how long was I asleep?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : fuck if I know

 

 **dobunny** : okay

 

 **dobunny** : could we redo this catch-up session? like asap?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : sure

 

 **dobunny** : like now?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : hahaha i sure do love comedy. have a good evening hyung !!

 

**.**

**.**

 

**.**

 

 **dobunny** : wOW u really had the audacity to film me like that? without my permission?? thats a violation of my privacy 

 

 **dobunny** : see u in court asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to yell at me or with me: 
> 
> tumblr: ireallyneedthatgifinmylife
> 
> twitter: ohmahkittens
> 
> wattpad: applejwoos
> 
>  
> 
> bemyfriend.mp3
> 
> —Ki ♡


	9. The Most Homosexual Moment In Life, Pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 1 of neither you nor i signed up for this AKA not chat format  
> these sure are interesting times we live in

**『**                                                                            

**Open This Document?**

 

**[ Yes  | No ]**

 

                                                                           **』**

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

  

 

#XuWoo Rise: An Autobiographical Account of Events 

 

By Kim Jungwoo

 

Jungwoo sighed as he scrolled through his Netflix feed. The sheer amount of choice was overwhelming - much like the looming deadline of the essay he was supposed to start today. He continued to scroll because let’s be real, that’s almost as fucking satisfying as watching a movie or starting a show; it can consume the same amount of time with much less commitment. (If you don’t think so, feel free to do some discourse but remember: the “@” button is free.)

 

As Jungwoo’s eyes were getting drunk on titles and descriptions, a blunt noise came from the right wall of the apartment and, startled, this procrastinating bitch jumped out of his skin and went into cardiac arrest for two seconds.

 

He regained his breath only to lose it again, because the next thing he heard from the wall was a faint: “Hello? Jungwoo-hyung, can you hear me?”

 

This rumbly-ish wall-voice belonged to Xuxi, Jungwoo’s neighbor and kinda, sorta, almost friend. He can rock a turtleneck nearly as well as Jungwoo can, has an ultra stupid laugh, and is, as the great aestheticist of our time, Snoop Dogg, would describe: _tall, tan, fit, and ready._ To make matters worse, the college freshman seems to be a warm and honest kind of person. So yes, you’re damn right that Jungwoo has a huge, gay crush on him.

 

Abruptly, Jungwoo departed from the butt-hollow he’d created on the couch and went to stand in front of the wall. “Xuxi? What in the hell - I went into cardiac arrest for two seconds! What is it? I hope it’s important,” he seemed to exert in one breath, hoping he was loud enough to be heard through layers of plaster.

 

“Aww, sorry! Sorry. If you don’t wanna be disturbed right now then it’s cool, it’s fine. Just forget it,” said Xuxi. An acute urge to hug the big baby next door washed over Jungwoo.

 

“No, wait, you know I’m kidding. I am.” Jungwoo paused. Lies are no way to build a strong relationship - platonic or otherwise - so he revised. “Alright so I’m not kidding, you fucking scared me, but it’s whatever! You have my full attention, okay? I’m listening.”

 

“Okay. Was just wondering if I could come over? And, like, make some French toast if you’re hungry and into that?”

 

Jungwoo didn’t reply right away, due to thinking his ears might be tripping on some shit, and so Xuxi kept rambling a bit about how he has some really good bread that Jungwoo should try. But once Jungwoo processed that yes: this was real, this was happening, the smile on his face came close to cracking his face in half. “Hell yeah, I’m into that! Get your ass over here, I’m starving suddenly,” he babbled, struggling to contain little happy-noises. Xuxi’s stupid bubbles of laughter floated through the wall. “And to what do I owe this honor? Are you craving domesticity?”

 

“Yeah. Only with you, though. Just wanna see you.” Cue Jungwoo entering a third round of cardiac arrest. But oh, it didn’t stop there, because the kid wasn’t done. “You have interesting jam, I have bomb-ass bread; we make a good pair, I think.”

 

“That was kinda gay.”

 

“Only kinda? Oh.” Xuxi probably had his strong eyebrows furrowed and it was probably cute as hell, but of course, there was still a fucking wall in-between the two men because this whole conversation was a Crackheads Event Only. After moments of contemplation, the younger then uttered the words that would haunt Jungwoo forever. “I want to try your jam,” he proposed, “and try you, too...if you’ll let me.”

 

And so Xuxi did as he wished; and it all tasted sweet.


	10. creative endeavors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "xuwoorise.docx" has been Uploaded to the chat

Nation's Cutest Twinks (6)

 

 

 **Confident Gay™** : KIM JUNGWOO I AM CHOKING

 

 **Confident Gay™** : YOU DID NOT

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : An hour and a half of my life i’m never getting back hahahaha

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : i’m sorry

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : But also, pls read all of it

 

 **nanana** : when we demanded the deets, we aint mean it like this

 

 **nanana** : no offense hyung but what the actual fuck

 

 **dobunny** : CH RIST WHY IS THE PERSPECTIVE 3RD PERSON LIMITED-

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : BECAUSE OMNISCIENT WOULD MEAN I WASNT A CHARACTER IN IT AND I AM

 

 **dobunny** : THATS NOT WHAT I-

 

 **dobunny** : BINCH SMH IF I KNOW WHAT LIMITED MEANS DONT U THINK I UNDERSTAND OMNISCIENT?????

 

 **nanana** : I love literature class wow

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : rt

 

-

 

-

 

 **Confident Gay™** : “AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL ACCOUNT” CARD REVOKED

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Excuse me?

 

 **Confident Gay™** : IT READS LIKE A FANFIC AND I MEAN,, LIKE IS IT NOT? ITS JUST NOT REALISTIC

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : WYM OFC IT IS, THATS MY GODDAMN LIFE YOURE READING ABT

 

 **dobunny** : haaaaah theres no way Lucas rlly said that line about jam nice try sweetie :)

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : BINCH SMH I WAS LITERALLY T H E R E HE REALLY DID!!! I'M STILL SHAKIDNF

 

 **TiddY** : ok um, with no due respect….fuck kinda ending was that?

 

 **Confident Gay™** : the Subtext *skull emoji*

 

 **nanana** : *eyes emoji*

 

 **dobunny** : *eggplant emoji*

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : AHDJHDKJFHF WE DIDNT HAVE SEX WE HAD FRENCH TOAST

 

 **TiddY** : young ppl w their quirky names for things nowadays, idgi

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : KJAHSHKJDHHKFU STFU GRANDPA WE LITERALLY DIPPED BREAD IN EGGS N SHIT THEN FRIED IT AND PUT JAM ON IT

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : WITH A SIDE OF MAKING OUT ON THE COUNTERTOPS BUT WE DIDNT FUCK, K

 

 **nanana** : OOOOO BUT THATS STILL SPICY

 

 **nanana** : when will i ever :///

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : rt

 

 **TiddY** : why didnt you?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Is that not highkey an invasive thing to ask

 

 **Confident Gay™** : It is but to be fair, ur the one who uploaded a wholeass document abt your life into the gc

 

 **dobunny** : yeah where the hell ya boundaries at?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : gr8 question

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

 **dobunny** : wait author-nim i got something else to say

 

 **nanana** : when do u not

 

 **TiddY** : hahahaha

 

 **dobunny** : Child, I will not hesitate to dropkick u. thnx

 

 **nanana** : Noted

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : lmao what Dodo?

 

 **dobunny** : the title’s misspelled

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : uh no it isn’t, I used spellcheck

 

 **dobunny** : should be #Luwoo instead of #Xuwoo

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Listen! For the last time, i do not call him lucas, therefore our ship name is Xuwoo

 

 **dobunny** : Fine but just admit that aesthetically, in both sound and visuals, luwoo is superior

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Nope ur delusional

 

 **dobunny** : whyareyoubooingmeimright.jpg

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : what about Jungcas

 

 **nanana** : Jungxi?

 

 **TiddY** : Yukwoo

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Junghei

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Be quiet u rats, it’s Xuwoo and THATS! ON! THAT!

 

 

junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿), ringdingdongsicheng (2) 

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : jwoos real talk, the writing wasnt bad & it was v amusing. 7/10

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Aww thanks :,)

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : How could i make it an 8 though

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : More

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : More what?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : Details

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Elaborate

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : about making french toast

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : and making out

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : oh okay. Ye i cut it short bc i couldnt put off my essay anymore without possibly inducing a mental break

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I appreciate the honest critique bb

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : anytime

 

-

 

-

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : so like is there going to be a pt 2 or-

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : You want to read more of my dumbass writing about my love life?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : would it be weird to say yes

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : A lil

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : then no i do not

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : but...i will support all of ur creative endeavors

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Lmao, i love you sicheng. Good to know

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I’ll keep you updated, I guess ;)

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : k :)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > happy 10th chapter! I have no idea how long this story is going to be. 
> 
> > sorry but y'all gotta use your imagination for the """Details""" :^) 
> 
> > this author is HYYH trash; Run mv ruined my life; the 3 versions of Run and Butterfly are like hymns to me
> 
> > speaking of music, I'm currently obsessed with Paradise by milic, I highly recommend it!


	11. The Most Homosexual Moment In Life, Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i started drafting this like 3 chapters ago and finally y'all get to see it hehe  
> do not get used to these frequent updates; my Mood has been Be Excited About This Fic and plus i've had too much free time lately...but anyways:
> 
> more cameos! not chat format! and yuwin, here we come! woo!

 

❨❨ ❨   ⇘ I n c o m i n g  ⇘ ❩ ❩❩

 

 ╭                            ╮   

  
**Milky Boi**

 

       ╰                            ╯        

                                           

  

                     〘▲〙   |     ▽                          

 

* * *

 

  
YUTA  
[with phone cradled betwixt cheek and shoulder, like an absolute baller]  
What's up?

  
  
JAEHYUN  
[groggily] Hope you're getting food 'cause I woke up like three minutes ago and uhhhhhhh our kitchen is a wasteland.

_[YUTA hums bemusedly]_

 

When’d we run out of coffee? I’m heating hot chocolate right now. And eating carrots. [munches on said vegetable] Raw carrots, bro.

  
  
  
YUTA  
Oh, the tragedy! [snorts] Don’t worry, I'm at the grocery store. Remember I said I'd cook something nice if we won?

  
  
JAEHYUN  
Ah, right! Guess I forgot. And - oh, yeah! Speaking of the game, I don’t think I asked yesterday, so, hm...what d'you think of the new cheerleader?

  
  
YUTA  
New...cheerleader?

  
  
JAEHYUN  
[incredulously] Nakamoto Yuta, don't tell me you seriously haven't noticed!

  
  
YUTA  
Um.

  
  
JAEHYUN  
What the hell, man?

  
  
YUTA  
I’ve told you before, I only focus on football while on the field. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

  
  
_[a pause that's pregnant with triplets]_

  
  
JAEHYUN  
I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that cheesy as fuck line and move on.

  
_[YUTA grumbles]_

  
  
So! The new cheerleader is male.

  
  
YUTA  
[with minimal feeling] Cool. Good for him.

  
  
JAEHYUN  
And he can't keep his eyes off you to save his life.

  
  
YUTA  
[stops browsing the shelf in front of him, interested] What? Really?

  
  
JAEHYUN  
Yup.

  
  
YUTA  
Wait a minute...are you clowning me for being lonely as shit? I hate you. Say goodbye to home cooked Japanese food, disrespectful-ass dongsaeng!

 

JAEHYUN  
[almost giggles] No, no, hey! I'm deadass. And, well. The guy's what you'd expect from any cheerleader: nice body, cute face...

  
  
YUTA  
Oh? I'll be the judge of that.

  
  
JAEHYUN  
[cheeky] Yeah, yeah. Just take your inner Troy Bolton down a notch for next joint practice and you'll see what I mean.

  
  
YUTA  
Alright, will do. Just remind me.

  
  
JAEHYUN  
[scoffing] What? Why should I? This's got nothing to do with me. Handle your own shit.

  
  
YUTA  
Ugh. That's so overrated.

  
  
  
_[JAEHYUN hums patronizingly]_  
  
  
[worriedly] Okay but for real, it's hard to get my head out of the game. So just, like—

 

  
JAEHYUN  
Hyung. Come on.

  
  
YUTA  
[shameful over-the-phone aegyo] Help me, please, please, pleaseeee Jaeeee?

  
  
JAEHYUN  
[unbothered and scheming on the low] Hm...mmm...maybe if you bought ice cream…?

  
  
YUTA  
[internally rolls eyes] Don't you have enough already? What happened to that one carton?

  
  
JAEHYUN  
[audible pout] Finished it already. And for the record, I never have enough.

  
  
YUTA  
[sighing] You're damn lucky you're an athlete. Coming home in fifteen. Bye.

  
  
JAEHYUN  
Bye!

* * *

  
  
〘 ⬛ 〙

  
  
**Milky Boi** ⇘  
❨ Call Duration 2:57 ❩


	12. valid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿): Ok ok but gays I swear, having a bf is honestly p wild like. just. hhhhhhh
> 
> dobunny: Nah whats wild is that YOU have one & I dONT

 

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (6) 

 

 **TiddY** : whomst is down for a party on saturday?

 

 **nanana** : ME ME IT ME~

 

 **dobunny** : hella down

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : mayhaps. what time?

 

 **TiddY** : around 8:30

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : yes good :D

 

 **nanana** : i honestly didn’t take u for the kind of guy who throws parties but aaaaa i’m excited….and lowkey scared

 

 **TiddY** : nope u right kiddo, its not my party. I love ppl  and fun but planning is Stress

 

 **nanana** : oh

 

 **TiddY** : wait why would me throwing a party scare you?

 

 **nanana** : no offense hyung but have u met yourself

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : valid

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Yongie where’s it at this time

 

 **TiddY** : Johnny’s place

 

 **Confident Gay™** : I’m Going

 

 **dobunny** : lmao @ everyone rn

 

 **nanana** : ...who is Johnny?

 

 **TiddY** : my american friend

 

 **nanana** : omg I’m going to a white dude’s party? Liiiiiiit

 

 **TiddY** : hes not white hun lmao!!!!

 

 **nanana** : so he’s black

 

 **TiddY** : no

 

 **nanana** : ...latino?

 

 **TiddY** : Listen,,, his last name is literally “Seo”

 

 **nanana** : oh

 

 **TiddY** : anyways i’ll send u his address jaemin. he’s from Chicago n he’s p cool

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Yeah, super ultra cool

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Like lightyears ahead of y’all. ur fav could never

 

 **dobunny** : smfh i will not stand for this propaganda! that sentient tree is a deep-fried meme AND a dumbass on main

 

 **nanana** : sowhatisthetruth.jpg

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Omg Johnny’s having a party???

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I already have plans though ;-;

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Hot take: Johnny is a whole awkward sweetheart but ten-hyung is just up his ass bc he’s an english speaker

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Is it so wrong to want to Converse in ur mother tongue?

 

 **nanana** : shut up you’re thai

 

 **ringdongsicheng** : no actually hes gay

 

 **Confident Gay™** : hahahahahaaa

 

 **nanana** : sksdkdkjf i hate

 

 **nanana** : wait jungwoo you aren’t coming thru? :(

 

 **TiddY** : awww @jwoo say it ain’t so!

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Yeah it’s date night, srry my dudes

 

 **dobunny** : Ooooooooooooooo

 

 **Confident Gay™** : *eyes emoji* What are yall getting up to this time?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : We’re gonna get Japanese food and then go ice skating

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : sounds fun!!!! uwu

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : wait. what-

 

 **TiddY** : yeah hold up am i - is that a typo? your uncoordinated twig-ass is going i c e skating?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Yep...

 

 **Confident Gay™** : I’m authentically concerned

 

 **dobunny** : Goddamn what did Lucas do to the “winter is a deathtrap” jungwoo we all know and love?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Xuxi has a degree in persuasion…so thats where we at rn

 

 **nanana** : from which university?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : screenshot245.jpg

**『Expand』**

 

**┏                                                                                     ┒**

**Donkatsu                                  **

                                                                                    **<** Babe cmon it’ll b fun!!!

                                                                                                      _I have the balance of newborn Bambi,_

 _tyvm ;-;_ **>**

                                                                                    **<  **I know and I love you

                                                                                     **<  **But consider this: I won’t let you fall

                                                                                                      _Look ily too ((like so so much))_

 _but gravity ALWAYS_ _has its way w me_ **>**

                                                                                    **<** Why the fuck u lyinnn

                                                                                    **<** When I broke your fall in the parking lot?

                                                                                    **<** *weird ass laugh* “What are we?”

                                                                                    **<** Ring a bell, u lIAR???

                                                                                                                                                  _Perhaps_ **>**

 _Well I still fell, nice try boo xoxo_ **>**

                                                                                        Fine, ok. Ok. So maybe I can’t stop

                                                                                    **<** you from falling

                                                                                     **<** BUT can i get u to…

                                                                                    **<** Get out get out get out of my head?

                                                                                                                        _???? English? Rlly Xuxi wtf._

 _T_ _hat doesn’t even make sense......._ **>**

                                                                                    **<** AND FALL INTO MY ARMS INSTEAD ;)

                                                                                                                        _SJDJHFFHFNDNAKSJD BYE_   **>**

**┖                                                                                            ┛**

****〘X** **〙** **

 

 

 **nanana** : well fuck those r advanced techniques. He sold me

 

 **ringdingdonsicheng** : rt

 

 **TiddY** : wow love makes you WEAK!!! yall wont catch me slipping like this, ever

 

 **Confident Gay™** : And that’s fine. You’re a fantastic and complete person with or without a partner Tae :)

 

 **TiddY** : Oof wasnt expecting such delicious tea :,)))

 

 **TiddY** : ily Ten u little intellectual

 

 **Confident Gay™** : ily too~

 

 **nanana** : [Oh no, TY slipped! His strength decreased by 10 points!]

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Bahahahha

 

 **TiddY** : oh shut up lmao you know i wasn't including abt platonic love

 

 **Confident Gay™** : I’d probably play that sim

 

 **TiddY** : i've been playing it since it came out, 6/10 tbh. Not worth it

 

-

-

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Ok ok but gays I swear, having a bf is honestly p wild like. just. hhhhhhh

  
  
**dobunny** : Nah whats wild is that YOU have one & I dONT

  
  
**ringdingdongsicheng** : false. the truly wild thing is that the moon landings were faked but nobodys talkin abt it

  
  
**TiddY** : god not this again

  
  
**ringdingdongsicheng** : yes “again” bc the first 5 attempts failed

  
  
**ringdingdongsicheng** : the truth is out there but y’all r sleep >:(

  
  
**nanana** : Attempts @ what??

  
  
**ringdingdongsicheng** : waking up some SHEEPLE

  
  
**nanana** : ...sheeple?

  
  
**dobunny** : sheep people, referring to masses who don't act or think of their own accord

  
  
**nanana** : alrighty then

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : come on guys, u rlly think Americans went all the way to the moon? u actually believe they had that kind of technology back in 1969?????? grow up

  
  
**Confident Gay™** : Well. its been fun babes *yeeteths away*

  
  
**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Sicheng :) Stop while ur ahead or else I won’t hesitate to banish you!

  
  
**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : You’re tainting the baby and our god just abandoned us >:(

  
  
**ringdingdongsicheng** : WHY CANT YOU SEE STARS IN THE SPACE PICS? WHY DID THE AMERICAN FLAG WAVE LIKE IT WAS IN A BREEZE?

  
  
**nanana** : uh. Dare i say...wig?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** has removed **ringdingdongsicheng** from the chat  
**  
**

 

 **nanana** : HYUNG whatever happened to free speech?

 

 **dobunny** : bold of you to assume this was ever a democratic union in the first place

 

 **nanana** : this country IS democratic tf

 

 **dobunny** : i’m talking abt this groupchat

 

 **TiddY** : Indeed, we’re all here because of jwoo. he’s our overlord, like a shepherd to gay sheep. we all wandered different pastures but he brought us to this land together to graze. and yet, he holds the power to cast us away to be devoured by wolves made of seclusion at a moment's notice

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : That’s Mr. Lovely Amazing Cuter-Than-Thou Overlord to you ;)

 

 **nanana** : smh I'm getting a migraine

 

 **TiddY** : oH SHIT WE’RE SHEEP PEOPLE. WE ARE SHEEPLE JUST LIKE SICHENGIE SAID

 

 **dobunny** : language fact: Sicheng is Mandarin for “prophet”

 

 **nanana** : HYUNG LET HIM BACK IN RN IMMEDIATELY

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)**  added **ringdingdongsicheng** to the chat

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : does this mean you wanna hear bout flat earth theory

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : NO

 

 **nanana** : SOFT-HYUNG SCROLL UP YOURE A PROPHET

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : oh my god

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : does this mean i can drop out of school?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : No

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : ffs this life sux

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am a restless being. this chapter was hard labor. getting those two (2) emojis in there nearly broke my back but it's worth it
> 
> please let me know if anything looks funky in a way it shouldn't! and if you haven't listened to hozier's new ep "nina cried power" maybe you should change ur ways.


	13. johnnys lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been too long, ah...i missed writing this!!! 
> 
> NOTE: I only showed one part of each Story because I'm lazy, sorry haha. so don't get confused okay
> 
> anyways with all the usual weirdness and then some, here's lucky number 13 everyone

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (6) 

 

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Gays have fun @ Johnny’s but like not too much since I’m not there!! mwah xoxo

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ALSO friendly reminder that nana is not an adult despite his claims so pleasepleasepls watch over him well HE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I’LL POISON UR RAMEN AND THEN JUMP OUT MY WINDOW IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM :)

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Shhhh baby he’s in good hands, promise

 

 **TiddY** : eyebrows on fleek. finna get crunk, da fuq ;)

 

 **dobunny** : TY are you already wasted...don’t lie

 

 **Confident Gay™** : well. I speak for myself only, of course. he's in good hands w Me

 

 **nanana** : and uh lest we forget i can, in fact, handle myself

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Uh source?

 

 **nanana** : just go make ice babies with yukhei & don’t fucking worry bout it, kay~

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Lowkey wish that’s what the plan was

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : like I’m still scared I’m gonna break my ass somehow?? oof :|

 

 **TiddY** : bold of u to assume u wouldn’t break ur ass making ice babies

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : fsmksfmkfrmfg stfu

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Wow 0/10 keysmash my poor eyes

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : Bold of you to assume i’m a bottom

 

 **dobunny** : l m a o. okay

 

 **TiddY** : ?????? idk is it rlly all that bold?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I’m vers but go off i guess :)

 

 **TiddY** : alright, um……………….....anyway,,

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : maybe i want an ice baby

 

 **nanana** : ice babies aren’t real

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : :0 dont say that!! thats yeti erasure

 

 **dobunny** : ootd.jpg

 

 **dobunny** : yo, thoughts?

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : It’s nice

 

 **nanana** : you do you hyung but i feel like u could do better for the occasion

 

 **dobunny** : really? I kinda thought it banged

 

 **TiddY** : nah sorry fam go book an optometry appmt

 

 **Confident Gay™** : I thought you gave those shoes away??? Or was that a Dream i had

 

 **dobunny** : ENOUGH ok i’ll change it up, hold on

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : [svt 2nd album teen, age track 2]

 

 **nanana** : nice

  
  


 

**junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)’s Story: Romance Isn’t Dead**

_last updated 11:38pm_

 

(10:07pm)  i honestly deserve better 

[ Ice rink. Yukhei ice skates for a few feet before skidding to a stop in front of the camera. ]

Yukhei: Skrrt!

Jungwoo: (comes into frame slightly, laughing) Aha...skoreut?

[ Yukhei makes an unintelligible noise and folds in half as he cackles, nearly losing his balance. ]

  


**TiddY’s Story: Pour One Out For Johnny Seo!!!!**

_last updated 2:13am_

 

(11:30pm)

[ Front camera. Taeyong grooving to the beat in front of a mess of dancing people. ]

Taeyong: Woooo! (raises a cup in his hand and chugs it)

Taeyong: (looks at something in the distance, eyes widen)

[ Shaky shots through Johnny’s living room as Taeyong rushes off. Once it steadies there's a clear shot of the dining room table with some really built dude laying down. Ten is doing a body shot off of him. ]

Taeyong: (giggling weirdly as he approaches Ten's back) Oh my God~

Ten: (finishes slurping alcohol out of a collarbone, straightens up and turns around) Fuck, Tae! (laughs) Wanna go next?

 

**dobunny’s Story: Isssa Banger Folks**

_last updated 11:11pm_

 

(9:05pm)  westerners wyd??? 

[ Johnny’s dining table, with plastic cups on both of the long ends in pyramid formations. Johnny and Ten are standing on the far side. A pingpong ball is thrown but misses any cups. Doyoung huffs. The camera turns and Taeyong is shown. He throws a ball and also misses. Johnny smirks and takes his turn, arching perfectly into one of DoTae’s cups. ]

Ten: (cheekily) Drink up, babes!

Taeyong: (towards camera) Don’t look at me like that, we agreed to switching off. I took it last time.

Doyoung: Ugh, fine. (muttering) This game is fucking rigged, why did I agree to this?

[ Front camera. Doyoung lifts the cup up to his lips and tips it back. A sour expression overtakes his face as the beer goes down his throat. Taeyong claps bemusedly in the background. ]

Doyoung: (chuckling pathetically) Johnny, how in the goddamn hell do you drink this? I want to die.

[ The camera zooms in across the table, where Ten is cracking up while Johnny loses it and throws himself on the ground. ]

 

**nanana’s Story: Saturdays = For The Boys**

_last updated 12:24am_

 

(12:24am)  TEN OUTSOLD 

[ Johnny’s crowded living room. Music blaring. ]

Boy: (dancing, trying to provoke Ten)

Crowd: Yeah, Mark!

[ Camera pans over to Ten and zooms in. ]

Ten: (starts waacking and does the splits)

Crowd: (going wild)

Jaemin: (behind the camera) HOLY FUCK WE STAN!

Taeyong: (hooting next to Jaemin) THAT’S MY BOY! SLAUGHTER THAT LIL BITCH!

  
  


dobunny, Confident Gay™ (2) 

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Yo are you w/ Yong?

 

 **dobunny** : yeppers

 

 **Confident Gay™** : We’re gonna call an Uber? Our baby is tired lol yall coming?

 

 **dobunny** : mmwell...about thatt…

 

 **dobunny** : you cn go on w/o us

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Wow seriously? Okayyyy be safe my dudes <3

 

 **dobunny** : no that ain’t it. kinda stuck in the bathroom,,TY did a little too muche

 

 **Confident Gay™** : THAT DUMBASS

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Which one

 

 **dobunny** : upstairs

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Fcukingg…...ok. Ok see u in 2 min with water

 

Confident Gay™, ringdingdongsicheng (2) 

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Hey where the fuck u at

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

 **Confident Gay™** : HELLOOOOO DID U LEAVE ALRDY WITHOUT SAYIN A DAMN THING?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : no

 

 **Confident Gay™** : K then where are u

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : johnnys lol

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Bitch me too!!! like W H E R E in his house, headass

 

 **ringdingsicheng** : oh. No not inside, on the roof

 

 **Confident Gay™** : LMAO tf ya doing up there??¿ oh boi

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Anywho we’re calling an Uber can u come down pls

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : idk can i :P

 

 **Confident Gay™** : God ur so mcfucking annoying intoxicated

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Don’t go anywhere I’ll find u


	14. so stereotypical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confident Gay™: Alright well spill it, Cheercheng *eyes emoji*
> 
>  
> 
> TiddY: nah that’s ugly, it’s Sicheer
> 
>  
> 
> ringdingdongsicheng: siri, is it possible to cringe out of existence

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (6) 

 

 

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : um...hello? why is this dead

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : please tell me y’all are alive?? :(

 

*****

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : wow I—

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : still nobody’s online...guess i’ll die too...ALONE! & UNLOVED !

 

 **nanana** : hyung stfu u got yukhei,,

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : O ITS NANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~

 

 **dobunny** : nanas-first-beer.mp4

 

 **nanana** : akssjjddkjddjskjddsjjd

 

 **nanana** : uGH DELETE DELLETLT!!!!!!!!! >:(

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ARE YOU MCFUCKING KIDDING ME RN

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I lost all my hyungs today :)

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : uh wym

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : im right here uwu

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : not for long :))

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : 0-0 yEET

 

 **dobunny** : ...coward

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : YOU’RE GETTING STABBED FIRST BITCH

 

 **nanana** : DODO HYUUUUNG IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU TO DELETE THAT

 

 **nanana** : DAD WHY R YOU LIKE THIS??? DID U EVEN WATCH THE VID

 

 **nanana** : I HATED IT I HATE BEER ITS SO WACK

 

 **dobunny** : HEY jwoos he didn;t drink after that, like

 

 **dobunny** : i promise we were good hyungs !!

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : do you swear on your life?

 

 **dobunny** : i swear on sicheng’s, since u give more fucks abt him

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : when did i even,, i never?

 

 **dobunny** : actions speak louder than words, hun

 

 **nanana** : AND I SWEAR ON TEN

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : I Want To Believe

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : so i will...i guess. no murders today

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : :D

 

 **dobunny** : and the Coward returns

-

-

-

 **dobunny** : yall up for bets on when taeten will come online?

 

 **nanana** : hell no! you took my dignity, you ain’t coming for my money too

 

 **dobunny** : just say ur broke and go

 

 **nanana** : [nanana has left the chat]

 

 **dobunny** : do it, you won’t

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : HHHHH I CLOCK OUT FOR 2 MIN—

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : KIM DONGYOUNG THAT IS MY GODDAMN CHILD, MY FLESH AND BLOOD THAT I BIRTHED, HOW D A R E YOU! IN MY HOUSE NO LESS

 

 **dobunny** : what a shame i missed your labor, i’m sure it was ~magical~

 

 **nanana** : it wAS

 

 **nanana** : I AM A BLESSING

 

 **dobunny** : one man’s blessing is another’s curse :^)

 

 **nanana** : why don’t you love me,, what tf did I ever do

 

 **dobunny** : YOU CALLED ME A PENNYWISE AND RABBIT LOVECHILD

 

 **nanana** : AJSJKSKSKS YOURE STILL ON THAT? FROM LITERAL WEEKS AGO?? JFC

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ...dodo never lets anything go. and it’s the worst bc he has the best memory out of all us single brain celled bitches ;(

 

 **nanana** : yo I said sorry anyways so??? lmao u must remember that too

 

 **dobunny** : I Do Not recall

 

 **nanana** : pffffft whatever. selective memory ass hoe smfd

 

 

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

Nation’s Cutest Twinks (6) 

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : hey

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : what would yall think if, hypothetically,

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : i...um

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : um. I

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : tried out for cheer squad?

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : yo?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : nvm i kno its dumb :) pretend i said nothing haha

 

 **dobunny** : huh?

 

 **dobunny** : no wait, it wouldn’t be dumb at all...except I don’t think they’re accepting ppl anymore so :\

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Yeah, otherwise you’d be a lovely cheerleader Sichengie xx

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Try out next szn mayhaps

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : OOOF CHEERLEADER SICHENG IS A CONCEPT THIS HOUSE SUPPORTS

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : :,D !!!!!!!!!!

 

 **ringdongdongsicheng** : well in that case,,, heres my confession:

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : im a cheerleader

 

 **TiddY** : What

 

 **Confident Gay™** : oH?

 

 **nanana** : yEEES i love that for you! 

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : ANSJJDJFJFJF REALLY

 

 **dobunny** : biiiiiiitch i knew u weren’t studying @ the field that often…..who does that lol

 

 **Confident Gay™** : Alright well spill it, Cheercheng *eyes emoji*

 

 **TiddY** : nah that’s ugly, it’s Sicheer

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : siri, is it possible to cringe out of existence

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : sichengieeee that's super cool n i’m proud of u and i absolutely would love to come to a soccer game just to see you if that’s okay? (pls tell me it’s okay)

 

 **nanana** : ^^ !!!!!!!!!

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : AAAAA YE I’D LOVE THAT TOO ILYALL

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : ok, well...i tried out last month. luckily they accept guys year-round ;^)

 

 **TiddY** : u been at it for weeks and didnt tell us?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : yeah, lol...i just felt weird abt it? it’s so stereotypical yknow?

 

 **TiddY** : ?

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : guy who likes guys becomes a cheerleader??

 

 **Confident Gay™** : well, i love a good crop top or pair of heels

 

 **TiddY** : and i dye my hair so often that i may go bald soon

 

 **nanana** : and my fav color is pink and my nails r p much always painted

 

 **dobunny** : and more than half of my long sleeves are turtlenecks

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : and i love being dramatic for no reason

 

 **Confident Gay™** : point is, sicheng: we’re all just dudes being dudes. live how u want and fuck the rest

 

 **nanana** : *slow clap*

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : *normal clap*

 

 **dobunny** : *clap* seventeen right here

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : amen

 

 **TiddY** : ugh i love church on a sunday

 

 **nanana** : @cheerhyung what made u go for cheerleading anyway? it’s cool but there’s plenty of other stuff at uni i’m sure,,

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : honestly?

 

 **nanana** : yeh

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : welltheresthisonesoccerplayer

 

 **dobunny** : oh my

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : GASP!!!!!

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : A LOVE INTEREST THAT ISNT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER OR A CELEBRITY? THE PLOT THICKENS!

 

 **TiddY** : sicheng likes em thicc huh. well shit, me too *tongue emoji*

 

 **Confident Gay™** : me three but skdjhefkfkjfhjf

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : perhaps.jpg

 

 **nanana** : PLOT CONFIRMED FOR THICC *peach emoji*

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : FFUFUFVVHH WRONG PIC

 

 **junguwu (◕ ω ◕✿)** : THATS WHAT THEY ALL SAY

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : YALL DONT EVEN KNOW HIM THO

 

 **TiddY** : name one soccer player with a flat ass

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : i-

 

 **ringdingdongsicheng** : gaysilence.jpg

 

 **TiddY** : UH HUH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuta and jaehyun r thicc boys in this au okay, i know it may be hard to imagine but just suspend your disbelief a little.
> 
> ~
> 
> yup, this is still a thing. as expected, i have too many other things i'd like to write but i feel kinda blocked so back to the crack! 
> 
> if you wanna scream with me or see what i'm screaming about, i made a new [twitter](https://twitter.com/wonderwooj) & my [tumblr](https://applejwoos.tumblr.com/)'s still here as well <3 ^^


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